..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
