Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize