It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
