Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead

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(916): View more from California

keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something

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(330): View more from Ohio

fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.

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(219): View more from Indiana

I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.

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(949): View more from California

You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.

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(425): View more from Washington

just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit

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