Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
