oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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