Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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