I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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