I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My ass is underappreciated
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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