Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
