she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
