I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The air was thick with penises
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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