That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
