My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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