Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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