I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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