Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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