I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Im part way to drunk.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
