She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
