I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize