So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
