i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
