I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
