Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
