sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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