Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
