How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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