If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
