She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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