she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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