He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Randomize
