Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
