Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
