My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
