stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Houston, we have a squirter
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
