Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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