i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
