I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
