I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
