WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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