You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
