We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I forget how to act sober
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
