does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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