he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
