I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
