Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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