So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
