I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
