Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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