You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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