Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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