you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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