plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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