the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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