please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
