we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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