I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
