You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
