I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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