Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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