i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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