I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
