I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
