why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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